…What kind of nonsense is this!
Su Yan was utterly speechless, though he did recall the incident two years ago, in the tent outside Qingshui Camp in Lingzhou, when Aletan had been struck by Yan Chengxue’s poisoned flying needle and nearly crossed the gates of death.
Because the Oirat guards refused to let anyone else touch the tattoos on Aletan’s body, only he, the one “permitted by the prince to touch the sacred tree”, could step in to examine the poison wound. So when Aletan was convulsing on the brink of death, the blood from a wound on Su Yan’s palm had accidentally smeared onto the other man’s tattoo.
For reasons unknown, perhaps because of that accident, Aletan, who had been on the verge of dying from the poison, stabilized again. Even the doctors present clicked their tongues in amazement.
Aletan, whose life had been barely preserved, was sent back to the Northern Steppe overnight under heavy guard. Before leaving, a square-faced guard captain named Shalidan told him: the sacred tree of the holy land could save the prince.
After that, he never saw that tall, straightforward, wild grassland prince again, the one whose eyes shone like autumn sunlight when he smiled.
“…What are you thinking about? Your eyes have gone unfocused!”
Su Yan came back to himself and saw Zhu Helin leaning in close, staring at him with a scrutinizing gaze.
The seventeen-year-old Son of Heaven had a face with sword-like brows and bright eyes, young and sharp. With the weight of imperial power upon him, his former arrogance had been restrained into imperial authority. At some point, he had begun to exude an air of absolute supremacy.
This aura was intangible and formless. It existed in the black gauze winged crown; in the twelve-dragon robe; in the solemn black ceremonial attire worn at the enthronement, with sun and moon on the shoulders and stars and mountains on the back; in the grand and imposing palaces and the entourages of guards; and even more in the supreme power to decide life and death with a thought, to determine the fate of the realm with a single decree.
Power was the best aphrodisiac; responsibility was the greatest force for change, it drove people to grow, and it drove them to transform.
When power and responsibility both fell upon one person’s shoulders, what would he ultimately become?
Would things become unrecognizable? Would there be regret? Would he, like another emperor, sigh over youthful recklessness, “this was something I did in my youth”?
A strange feeling faintly arose in Su Yan’s heart. Fubao’s voice echoed again in his mind: “His Majesty is becoming more and more imposing. I’m almost forgetting what he was like as a child… Lord Su, perhaps you should forget as well?”
—What exactly was that meant to remind him of?
Subconsciously, Su Yan leaned back slightly, putting some distance between them, and smiled as if nothing were wrong. “It’s not as indecent as you say! Saving a life is like putting out a fire, between men, there aren’t that many taboos. Besides, he wasn’t naked, he still had shorts on!”
Zhu Helin’s face darkened. “Is that the point?”
“…Isn’t it?”
Could the issue be that, as an official of Great Ming, he had private dealings with a foreign prince, even an enemy, thus committing the grave taboo of colluding with outsiders?
That made sense. Now that Zhu Helin was emperor, his position had changed, and naturally the way he viewed things had changed as well.
Before, when he looked at Su Yan, he saw first a playmate, a friend, one of his own, even an object of budding affection (Su Yan suddenly felt embarrassed and hurriedly crossed out that last thought in his mind), and only then a subject. Now, it was entirely possible that the order had reversed, that he would see him first as a “subject.”
At this thought, Su Yan suppressed the faint bitterness rising in his heart, stepped down from the couch, stood properly, and clasped his hands respectfully. “Your subject knows that, as an official of Great Ming, it is inappropriate to have interactions beyond official business with vassal princes or foreign subjects. But the situation at the time was rather complicated…”
“What the situation was, others will naturally tell me,” Zhu Helin cut him off sharply. “When I ask you this today, do you really not understand what I want you to be honest about?”
I kind of understood before, but now that you’re pressing me like this, I feel like I don’t anymore… Su Yan tested the waters. “Does the young master want me to prove my innocence?”
“What kind of innocence?”
“Uh… the kind of ‘my heart is like a magnetic needle, it will not rest until it points south’?”
Zhu Helin ground his teeth slightly.
Seeing that his expression didn’t soften at all, Su Yan hesitated briefly, thinking perhaps his declaration of loyalty hadn’t been strong enough, and added, “‘Repaying Your Majesty’s favor, I would carry the jade dragon and die for you’, that kind?”
Zhu Helin finally couldn’t suppress his anger. The imperial composure he had worked so hard to cultivate broke, and he slammed the kang table, even knocking the book flying, shouting, “Stop f*cking dodging the issue and talking nonsense! I’m asking whether back then you got lustful again and half-willingly slept with him or not!”
Slept… with him… The echo lingered in the grand hall, and Su Yan’s face flushed red instantly.
Even though there were no attendants in the hall and the doors were shut tight, he still instinctively glanced toward the entrance, then snapped in embarrassment and anger. “Why are you shouting so loud! What if someone hears… No, wait, you’re just throwing dirty water on me with your eyes closed!”
“What do you mean ‘got lustful’? What do you mean ‘half-willingly’? What kind of person do you take me for…” Su Yan was so flustered he could barely get his words out.
Zhu Helin’s face was dark. “Am I wrong? If you had no such intentions, why were you touching the tattoo on his stomach? Why did you meet him and drink a pot of milk tea together? Trading horses for tea is one thing, but why throw in a thousand measures of salt as a bonus, and even send people to deliver it? Were you planning to deliver yourself too?”
“Touching the tattoo was to verify the authenticity of the wolf-head tattoos on the Tatar cavalry. Meeting Aletan at the horse grounds outside the city wasn’t just me, I brought Yan and Huo along to settle a dispute. As for the extras and delivery, those were just business tactics…”
“I don’t want to hear that! Just answer me this, weren’t the qualifications for the ceremonial envoy specified in the Oirat state letter practically tailored for you? And tell me, between you and that Aletan, is there or isn’t there some old romantic entanglement?”
“…Well, it’s not necessarily referring specifically to me. If you look carefully, there must be other officials who meet the criteria…”
“My *ss! I had the Embroidered Uniform Guard investigate, there’s only you!”
“The Embroidered Uniform Guard… who did you have investigate?”
Zhu Helin revealed a strange expression, as if unwilling yet resentful, yet also taking a kind of pleasure in dragging someone down with him. “Shen Qi.”
Su Yan’s vision went black, and he stumbled.
Seeing this, Zhu Helin’s suspicion turned into certainty. He deeply resented Su Yan’s ability to attract romantic entanglements everywhere, and said through gritted teeth, “You use the pretense of brotherhood to secretly carry on with Shen Qi; you eat from your own backyard and let your personal guard climb into your bed; over at Fourth Royal Uncle’s side, you hate him and hate him, yet in the end you still left the capital to help him; and my Royal Father, didn’t you say you would never serve your ruler with your looks? Didn’t you say he wanted face, and you wanted face too? Didn’t you say that between ruler and subject, mutual understanding should stop at that? And what happened in the end? If you were a woman, you’d probably have given me a younger brother or sister by now!”
“I tolerated all that, after all, I was young then, not worth your notice. I myself only understood many things in hindsight. But now it’s different. I am the emperor. There’s nothing in this world I cannot obtain, and no one I cannot kill. If that wild brute of yours in the Northern Steppe dares to provoke again, then war it is! I’ll personally lead troops, cut off his head and the heads of his barbarian tribesmen, and pile them into a mound outside the imperial city gates!”
The more Su Yan listened, the more outrageous it became. By the end, it was clearly deliberate nonsense and unreasonable pestering. He was so angry he just wanted to flick his sleeve and leave.
Zhu Helin reacted quickly, grabbing his wrist and yanking him back hard. “Where are you running? Feeling guilty, or feeling heartache? Let me tell you, Su Qinghe, don’t think you can use this ceremonial envoy opportunity to rekindle old feelings. Whether the two sides can even come to terms is another matter. Even if I send someone, it will never be you!”
Su Yan’s wrist hurt from being gripped so tightly, and no matter how he tried he couldn’t shake free. Angry and aggrieved, he turned and drove his elbow into Zhu Helin’s chest with considerable force.
“You dare hit me? You’ve got some nerve!” Zhu Helin blocked the strike with one hand and seized his shoulder and neck with the other, flipping him straight onto the ground. “I used to let you win, did you really think you could match me in a fight?”
Su Yan hit the back of his head, not too painfully, and was pinned so he couldn’t breathe properly, though not quite to the point of suffocation… but he was furious, so furious it felt like the floor tiles of the warm chamber might burn through.
“Are you admitting fault or not? Submitting or not?” Zhu Helin demanded aggressively, his arm locked around Su Yan’s shoulder and neck, his knee pressing against his thigh.
Su Yan struggled to pry his arm away, gasping, “Submit your…”
The word “mother” reached his throat but was forcibly swallowed back down, cursing someone’s mother would implicate the former emperor as well. Without thinking, he changed it: “Submit to your Father’s softness!”
Zhu Helin paused. “…Really?”
“Really what?”
“My Father! Really… soft?”
“….”
“I figured, he’s already that old. It’s normal to lose strength.”
Su Yan wanted to slap Zhu Helin to death.
What the h*ll was this! “How big is it,” “my Father’s softness”, how did every sentence he said twist into something indecent… what exactly was filling this guy’s head?
Zhu Helin was still muttering, “You really should try mine… how about you feel it first, inspect the goods?”
This time, Su Yan really did act.
His fist landed squarely on Zhu Helin’s nose. Fueled by anger and force, the effect was immediate.
Caught off guard, Zhu Helin took the hit full-on. His temper flared, and he pinned Su Yan down, giving him a rough thrashing.
The two of them rolled around on the floor like street thugs, striking each other with elbows and knees.
Su Yan slapped a hand onto Zhu Helin’s face and felt a sticky wetness on his fingers. He froze, then suddenly pulled back. “You, you’re bleeding from the nose!”
Zhu Helin sat up, unconcerned, wiping it with the back of his hand. “From that punch you gave me.”
But Su Yan panicked. He hurried over, pressing his sleeve against Zhu Helin’s nose, his vision filled with swaying, blurred patches of deep red, like the blood that had once stained the imperial bed.
“It’s fine, it’s fine… I’ll wipe it, just wipe it…” The familiar scene struck his heart, and fear overwhelmed him. He burst into tears. “I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have hit you, you mustn’t let anything happen…”
Zhu Helin hadn’t taken the nosebleed seriously, but Su Yan’s overreaction startled him. Then, as if understanding something, he pulled him tightly into his arms. “Don’t be afraid! It’s me, Zhu Helin… I’m fine. Don’t be afraid.”
The young emperor sat on the floor, back against the couch, his mouth, nose, and chin smeared with blood. Su Yan knelt half between his legs, pressing his face into his chest, sobbing.
After a while, the two finally calmed down. Su Yan clutched Zhu Helin’s robe, twisting the embroidered dragon pattern into a knotted mess, and sniffled, “Let’s not fight anymore in the future.”
Zhu Helin replied dully, “Mm.” Then added, “I’ve never been the one to hit you first.”
Su Yan felt a pang of guilt upon hearing that. He resolved that he needed to start treating Zhu Helin as an adult man, as an emperor, and not rely on their past closeness to resort to force whenever he pleased.
“Then you also shouldn’t deliberately say outrageous things to provoke me,” Su Yan said.
Zhu Helin gave another “mm,” but still felt somewhat unwilling, muttering, “So did you actually sleep with that northern barbarian or not…”
Su Yan wiped his face and laughed in exasperation. “No! We just met by chance and found each other agreeable.”
Zhu Helin was half-convinced. “Really?”
“Absolutely true! Between me and Aletan, it’s even more innocent than between you and me. Just the most ordinary kind of friends, nothing involving national interests.”
Zhu Helin suffered a heavy blow, and said gloomily, “‘Innocence’ is something you should give to others, just don’t give it to me.”
Su Yan tried to pull himself out of his arms, but couldn’t.
Over the course of this turbulent year, Zhu Helin had grown into a strong, well-built young man. In terms of physical strength, he was now an opponent Su Yan couldn’t shake at all. Defeated by this realization, Su Yan let out a resigned sigh. “I’m your teacher.”
“Nominal.”
“I am your… Father’s lover.”
Those words no longer struck Zhu Helin. He leaned close to Su Yan’s ear, his voice threading in like silk, low and ambiguous: “If you insist on reminding me every time, are you hoping I’ll call you ‘little mother’?”
Su Yan’s mind went off with a bang, the sound of his sense of shame exploding.
Zhu Helin’s voice slipped into his ear like a wisp of thread: “When I have time, I’ll try writing a story. I’ll call it… ‘The Deep Palace of Han: Romance Across Two Generations.’ What do you think?”
Su Yan was so mortified he nearly fainted. Muttering, he said, “Pour me some water…”
Zhu Helin helped him up, handed him tea from the table, and splashed some onto a cloth to wipe the blood from his own face.
After drinking, Su Yan drifted out of the hall as if his soul had left his body.
“The palace gates will soon be locked. Why not stay the night in Qianqing Palace? The west warm pavilion has already been prepared,” Zhu Helin called after him.
Su Yan answered faintly, “I won’t sleep in the rear palace… I’ll go sleep in the duty room at Wenyuan Pavilion in the front court.”
There were special duty rooms in Wenyuan Pavilion for the Grand Secretaries; sometimes they would deliberate through the night and rest there in between.
Seeing that he insisted on leaving, Zhu Helin felt a bit of regret about choosing Qianqing Palace as his residence.
—If I’d known, I should have done like Royal Father and stayed in the front court! Outside the forbidden gates, there’s Yangxin Hall on one side, and isn’t there also Fengxian Hall on the other?
Escorted by several lantern-bearing eunuchs, Su Yan arrived at the duty room in Wenyuan Pavilion. Not long after, palace attendants brought in steaming food in stacked containers, saying it was an imperial gift, and that they had to watch Lord Su finish eating before they could leave.
Su Yan had little appetite, but still forced himself to eat about sixty to seventy percent. Afterward, attendants brought in hot water to help him bathe.
When everything was finally done, he lay alone on the comfortable bed in the duty room, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
After finally drifting into a hazy sleep, his dreams were filled with shadow-play scenes, staging a play titled “The Deep Palace of Han: Romance Across Two Generations,” in which the male lead was repeatedly pressed down by two generations of emperors, countless times.
Su Yan jolted awake, breaking out in a cold sweat. Outside the window, dawn was just beginning to lighten.
At last, when the hour of Mao had nearly passed, he slipped out through Donghua Gate and saw a carriage from his household waiting outside.
Ah Zhui is the most reliable after all, he never drops the ball on anything he’s told to do, Su Yan thought with relief, opening the carriage door and climbing in. “Ah Zhui, let’s go to the market for breakfa…”
The rest of the sentence cut off abruptly.
Inside the carriage, Shen Qi sat upright, giving him a smile that sent chills down his spine.
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