Chapter 34 – Xi Da was Pretending to be Dead
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A weasel’s fart not only smelled bad, but also had a paralyzing effect. It could be called a bioweapon. Without a super dispelling buff, it was impossible to withstand.
Xi Baichen tried to endure, but finally couldn’t hold on. When he was about to tear open the door and flee, he was preempted by Mi Li covering her face and jumping out of the window with an “AAAAHHHH!”
The room was filled with an indescribable smell, which lasted for a long time. Even if the doors and windows were opened and disinfectant was sprayed; even when all the sheets, bedding and curtains inside were cleaned again; even then it would be a day or two before someone could stay inside again. That’s right, a weasel’s fart was that powerful.
Mi Li rushed all the way to the river, jumped down with a splash, and rolled around to wash off the smell on her body. Thirty or forty minutes later, she returned with her head hanging, her body wet, and her ears drooping. She looked very pathetic.
Xi Baichen looked at her in amusement, wrapped her in a bath towel, and said lightly, “My bedroom is temporarily unavailable. You must take responsibility.”
[ I will help you clean up another room. ] Mi Li gingerly sat on his lap.
“Why are you making such a crying face?” Xi Baichen said in rare comfort, “Who hasn’t farted before?”
Did I release a fart? It was obviously poison gas! Mi Li’s expression became gloomier.
“Didn’t you say you want to buy a cell phone for me?” In order to distract her, Xi Baichen carried her to the courtyard and pushed the open laptop in front of her, “You help me choose.”
Mi Li stayed in his embrace. Staring intently at the computer screen, her two paws skillfully moved back and forth.
Xi Baichen continued to dry her fur, his eyes displaying tenderness and intimacy that even he didn’t notice.
[ How about this silver gray one? ] Mi Li pointed to the phone picture on the screen and asked.
Xi Baichen glanced at it, “Not bad.”
[ Then that’s the one. ] The one Mi Li selected was a famous brand with a good online reputation, and the quality was relatively guaranteed.
In addition to the cell phone, Mi Li also bought a sim card, the number only two digits apart from Xi Baichen’s original number.
After doing this, Mi Li suddenly remembered something and asked: [ By the way, what happened with those travel companions? ]
“They rushed over to eat excitedly the morning of the day before yesterday, but you were away so they left disappointed that afternoon.” Xi Baichen narrated calmly. Using the two contradictory emotions of “excited” and “disappointed” in the same sentence, he indicated how much trauma her leaving caused to others.
Mi Li leaned on his chest lazily, and did not understand his underlying meaning: [ I followed their Weibo, and I can contact them often in the future. ]
“Just a few strangers, why keep in contact with them?” Xi Baichen snorted coldly.
[ I make friends all over the world, unlike you, a homebody who has no friends. ]
“Haha. I don’t have many friends, but my fans are all over the world. They can form a legion with a wave of my hand. You’re just an evil spirit and know nothing about my influence.”
[ Haha. Although your “Xi Da” name is very resounding, your “Rainbow Fart” persona is not too far behind. If I reveal the news that Xi Da is Rainbow Fart, do you think your fans will launch a collective counterattack? ]
Xi Baichen said dismissively, “You can give it a try.”
[ Are you sure? ] Mi Li looked at him suspiciously, not believing that this man didn’t cherish his reputation at all.
Xi Baichen made a gesture of invitation.
Mi Li opened his Weibo. After hesitating for a long time, she still felt reluctant to expose his alter ego. Finally, she thought of a compromise. Using Xi Da’s identity, she recommended Rainbow Fart’s novel.
As soon as this Weibo was posted, it immediately attracted a lot of attention.
[ F*ck, Xi Da was pretending to be dead! ]
[ I finally saw Xi Da post an unofficial Weibo in this lifetime. ]
[ Just who is this Rainbow Fart? He could even get Xi Da to advertise for him. ]
[ A novel recommended by Xi Da is absolutely guaranteed, I’ll take this recommendation! ]
[ I’ll take this recommendation! ]
[ I’ll take this recommendation! ]
……
Fans have poured onto Rainbow Fart’s page, which also included many directors, screenwriters and stars.
Then, they were all shocked by the titles on the page. “Shake it, m*ntally retarded! “, “The Two Self Destructive Wonders”, “Whomever Breaks My Heart Will Have Their Head Chopped Off”, “Benefactor Mo Fang”, “Spicy Wife, Fierce Husband”…
What the h*ll are these???
No, although the titles are ridiculous, maybe the stories are particularly good reads.
Holding onto their last bit of expectation, everyone bravely started reading Rainbow Fart’s novels.
Ten minutes later.
[ Sh*t! What am I looking at??? ]
[ Aaahhh, my titanium alloy dog eyes! ]
[ Mama asked me why I threw the keyboard and yelled like I was crazy? ]
[ Trash novels are ruining my youth! ]
[ Why am I debasing myself?! ]
[ I seriously suspect that Xi Da has been hacked, how could he recommend this kind of brainless story full of filler? ]
[ Suspicious +1 ]
[ Thinking back along the years, I only read brain frying suspense thrillers. Today, I actually read a dog blood story with relish… ]
[ My IQ dropped and won’t rise back anymore. Xi Da’s recommendation is toxic! ]
[ Xi Da, are you happy after your prank? ]
[ I always felt that the fruits of every author’s effort should be respected, but I was smacked in the face today. Rainbow Fart, your novel succeeded in turning me into a rude person, the type of low class person that makes personal attacks. Master, please allow me to take the liberty to greet you and your family. ]
Looking at the comments on Xi Da’s Weibo again:
“Great god that blows down my home.”
“When will the great god start a new story?”
“When the new story is published, can you give priority to our publishing house?”
“Can I reserve the film and television rights of the next story?”
“Kneeling and begging the great god to hold an autograph signing, I will always be waiting.”
“Great god, your stories touch me deeply, every character is so vivid.”
etc
Xi Da’s writing was sharp and the structure was rigorous, every novel was a guaranteed hit. Over the past few years, he had captivated a group of mature and visionary readers. Now, under “Xi Da’s recommendation,” they suddenly encountered a very different style. One could only imagine the impact of such dog blooded stories that shattered their three views.
[ Hahahaha… ] Mi Li laughed until her fur trembled.
Xi Baichen covered her with his hands to prevent her from rolling off his legs.
At present, she had only let them read Rainbow Fart’s novels. If she let them know that Rainbow Fart and Xi Da were the same person, their worldview would probably blow up completely.
Mi Li felt that it was better to be kind, and continued to let Xi Da live on in their hearts with a magnificent image.
After reading the comments, Mi Li was in a particularly bright mood.
She jumped off Xi Baichen’s legs and said to him: [ I’ll clean up the room for you. Go buy a few baskets of flame dates for me. ]
Without waiting for him to respond, Mi Li had already run out of sight.
Xi Baichen sighed helplessly. He got up and went to the old farmer to buy flame dates.
The room’s interior had already been cleaned before, so it was not difficult to organize it.
Over ten minutes later, Xi Baichen walked back with the donkey, which carried two baskets of flame dates on its back.
Mi Li had also finished cleaning up the room interior. Although the layout was a bit simple, it would last for two days. As for the master bedroom full of poisonous gas, she planned to come and clean it next time.
[ My flame dates~~ ] Mi Li jumped into the basket, picked up a flame date, and prepared to swallow it.
Xi Baichen grabbed her using his sharp eyes and fast hands. “You can only eat them after they’re washed.”
After speaking, he walked into the kitchen with a few flame dates. When he came out again, he saw a weasel sleeping on the basket. He lifted his foot and kicked the basket. The weasel instantly jumped up and saw a person standing beside it. Its fur exploded with fright and it fled in a hurry.
Xi Baichen looked at the direction of the weasel’s disappearance. With an expressionless face, he stuffed a flame date into his mouth and took a heavy bite.
Of the two baskets originally placed in the yard, only one remained at this time.
Mi Li woke up to a fruity fragrance. She opened her eyes to find that she was lying in bed with dozens of flame dates scattered randomly around her, and a bamboo basket was lying down on the ground.
She had crossed back again, and brought back a basket of flame dates.
Mi Li climbed down from the bed and picked up the scattered flame dates one by one, putting a total of fifty-three into the bamboo basket.
After shopping online across time and space, she once again brought things back from that world. In the past, she brought things over there. Did this mean that she was more closely connected with that world?
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Old Bai can recognize that Mi Li left just by looking at the sleeping weasel!