EDS Chapter 37

Chapter 37 – Calabash Old Bai[1]

Support the Translator fgMTL on his ko-fi account :))

<Previous Chapter<Table of Contents>Next Chapter>

The man rescued by Mi Li and the monkeys was named Peng Zijin. He was a fourth year college student who majored in painting and liked to travel. Taking advantage of the holidays, he came to Qingwei Town alone to get some fresh air. While climbing the mountain, he lost his footing and fell down a steep slope. Fortunately, he only suffered light injuries despite the danger.

“This is where I’m staying.” Peng Zijin pointed to the farm not far away.

Mi Li looked up to look and felt a coincidence in her heart. The place where Peng Zijin stayed was Mi Zheng’s Xiangfu Mingju[2]. It occupied the most area, was the most luxuriously decorated, most popular, and also the highest priced. Their business was booming, however, they were too profiteering. Their attitudes toward rich and poor guests were markedly different, leading to polarization of online comments.

Mi Li asked, “How long are you staying here?”

“I only came yesterday, and I expect to stay for three days,” Peng Zijin replied truthfully.

“I’ll give you a conscientious suggestion.” Mi Li turned around, walking off as she waved farewell, “Check out tonight and choose another place to stay.”

“Hey, wait…” Peng Zijin originally planned to invite her to dinner as thanks for saving his life, but she had already drifted away, leaving only the cool image of her back.

When she got home, Mi Li gave the rabbit to Mama Mi, saying that she picked it up on the mountain.

Mama Mi wondered, “You can just pick up rabbits on the mountain?”

“When Lady Luck comes knocking, there’s no way to turn her away.” Mi Li indicated that she was also helpless.

Mama Mi eyed her wearily, but couldn’t help laughing.

In the evening, Mi Li was lying on the bed after taking a shower, ready to play on her cell phone. After staring at the screen for a while, sleepiness came over her. Closing her eyes, she fell asleep in seconds.

In her fugue, Mi Li once again drifted to the other world.

The sky was bright and the surroundings were silent. Mi Li was rooted in the soil, looking into the distance with charming sorrow.

This time, she possessed a vine wrapped around a crooked tree. A caterpillar was gnawing on her leaf so she trembled and shook it to the ground mercilessly.

Her present location was about a few li away from Xi Baichen’s house. With her current state, it was impossible to run over to look for him.

[ Aaahhh, I am a little vine that no one cares about. I can’t move my feet, can’t lift my hands, I’m weak and limp~~ ] Mi Li cried and howled in the mountain forest while no one heard her.

Xi Baichen, who got up early in the morning for a mountain walk, suddenly heard a familiar howling, and almost prepared to turn around and leave.

[ Small little vine, no father, no mother, living in the mountains, lonely and dismal… ]

“Shut up!” Xi Baichen couldn’t bear it, and walked out from the bushes with heavy steps.

[ Ah, Old Bai! ] Mi Li said excitedly, [ You are really the white moonlight in my heart, the cinnabar mole in my palm, I love you to death! ][3]

Xi Baichen reached out to pull off the vine that clung onto him, his expression hard to describe.

[ Why are you here? ] Mi Li hooked his finger and rubbed against it flatteringly.

Xi Baichen: “…On a whim.” There seemed to be a feeling in the darkness that forced him to go in search of it.

[ Bring me home quickly~~ ] Mi Li happily promoted herself, [ I am a creeper vine. Not only can I provide shelter from wind and rain, adjust the room temperature, and reduce noise, but I can also freshen the air and decorate the home~~ Old Bai, why don’t you seriously consider planting one? ]

Xi Baichen crouched down, picked up a stone, and began to dig into the soil.

[ Be careful, don’t break my roots. ] Mi Li was wrapped around Xi Baichen’s body, waving her tendrils and gesticulating.

After half an hour, Xi Baichen finally dug out the creeper vine.

In fact, the creeper vine could be planted as long as it had branches and didn’t need to be uprooted. Mi Li was delicate, and Xi Baichen couldn’t bear to hurt her, so he dug up the whole plant.

The slender vine was wrapped around Xi Baichen’s body, its leaves swaying in the wind, and its tendrils hung off his ears, rubbing his cheeks from time to time.

At first glance, the vine-covered Xi Baichen looked like an adult version of the Calabash Brothers, attracting passing villagers to look back at him frequently.

[ Look, they are all jealous that you have found a creeper vine that is unparalleled in the world. ] Mi Li said with absolutely no self awareness.

Xi Baichen: “Ha ha.” Who knows where she comes up with this crap?

At this time, whether intentionally or not, the vine began to drill into his collar. He raised his hand and pulled her out, “Behave yourself.”

Mi Li’s face didn’t flush, her heart didn’t start beating, and her complexion stayed slightly green: [ It’s my first time being a vine so my motor skills are still inept. ]

Xi Baichen: Ha ha. I’d be crazy to believe you.

After returning home amidst others’ strange gazes, Xi Baichen walked around in the yard, “Choose a place to take root.”

[ It’s not bad here. ] The tip of the vine pointed to a corner not far away. Behind the corner was the master bedroom.

Xi Baichen took a small hoe, went to the wall, pulled Mi Li off his body, and began to dig into the soil.

Mi Li tested the soil quality and felt it was good, so she autonomously climbed over and planted herself in the pit that Xi Baichen had dug out.

Xi Baichen helped her fill in the soil, and then went to find a thin bamboo pole to erect beside her.

Mi Li climbed up along the pole, stretching out as much as possible, and stuck to the wall.

[ Ah, I finally found a home. ]

Xi Baichen: “……” You sound like you’ve never had a home before.

[ Old Bai, I’m thirsty, help water me. ] Mi Li patted him on the shoulder with the vine.

Xi Baichen went to the room to scoop a ladle of water and sprinkle it evenly on her body. Her branches and leaves trembled, and she looked incredibly comfortable.

[ Take good care of me. It won’t take long before I spread all over the wall. ] Mi Li said proudly, [ Creeper vines are such an easy to raise species. ]

Xi Baichen couldn’t help roasting her, “You are not a true creeper vine, what’s there to be proud about?”

[ As a vine, I must love vines. I have professional ethics. ]

Xi Baichen: “Haha, when you someday become a spider, mouse, or slug, then we’ll see what professional ethics you have.”

[ Old Bai, can’t you be nice?! Are you happy setting flags?! ] Mi Li was worried. She didn’t want to become a spider, mouse, or slug at all!

Xi Baichen calmly comforted, “Don’t worry. Little Mi is so cute, you definitely won’t become those kinds of terrible creatures.”

[ Listening to your words, I’m even more worried. ] Mi Li waved the vine, [ Leave, leave, quickly leave. I don’t want to talk to you for the time being. ]

Xi Baichen gave her a few more sprinkles of water and left at her urging.

A few minutes later, the bedroom window was opened, and Xi Baichen’s figure appeared. Looking sideways at Mi Li lying on the wall, he asked, “My gourmet novel is almost finished, do you want to read it?”

[ Read read read. ] Mi Li immediately forgot the earlier unpleasantness and poked her body through the window.

Xi Baichen moved the laptop to the wooden couch by the window, opened the document, turned the screen towards her, and helped her scroll the page.

[ You’re too slow, I’ll do it myself. ] The vine pushed away his hand in disgust, pressed the down button, and read quickly.

Xi Baichen leaned against the wooden couch, holding his newly bought cell phone. He observed her movements as he typed on the phone. Even doing two things at once didn’t seem to affect his hand speed.

The pair spent a relaxing and comfortable two hours quietly together until the vine suddenly fell softly. Xi Baichen stopped his movements and carefully wrapped it around the bamboo pole.

Mi Li woke up in her bed, feeling refreshed.

Dressed and washed, and having eaten the loving breakfast made by Papa Mi, her whole body was energized.

At eleven o’clock, Mi Xiangyang came to look for Mi Li, and took her to Xiangfu Mingju as a guest.

Mi Li followed Mi Xiangyang to the appointment under the worried gaze of Papa Mi and Mama Mi.

When she arrived at Xiangfu Mingju, Mi Li found that Mi Zheng had invited several elders from the village. The spacious hall was filled with dozens of people.

Mi Xiangyang greeted everyone intimately, calling Mi Li to come up together, as if they were a newlywed couple who were greeting relatives and friends.

Seeing this scene, Mi Li felt something was wrong. She wondered if Mi Zheng wanted to use his identity as the family patriarch to organize an engagement banquet in public view.

This thought was so ridiculous that she couldn’t even believe it herself.

Forget it, no matter what Mi Zheng wanted, he wouldn’t get it.

Listening to Mi Zheng’s eloquent and energetic posturing, Mi Li took out some essential balm[4] and quietly dabbed a little under her nose while others were not paying attention.

“…This is my niece, Mi Li. This is Da Zi’s young son, Mi Xiangyang. Everyone should know that they grew up together and have a great relationship,” Mi Zheng turned towards the group and introduced. “I invited you all over today, mainly for the sake of ……”

Before his voice fell, only a tumult could be heard near the door. Following that, a few people were seen jumping up in shock, covering their noses and going out the door.

Then, like an infection, everyone covered their noses and got up with grim expressions. The clashing of cups, plates, tables and chairs was endless, and the hall turned into a mess in the blink of an eye.

Mi Zheng was in a daze when he suddenly smelled an unspeakable odor. He felt his scalp tingle. He became nauseous, accompanied by occasional dizziness. He covered his mouth and nose unbearably, joining the group fleeing for their lives.

The stench permeated the air, gradually spreading to the surroundings and filling the entire manor.

Not long after, only exclamations were heard from the manor. There were people running in panic everywhere.

Those eating, sleeping, chatting, walking, picking vegetables, fishing… all were annihilated in seconds, none were spared. The most unlucky one was the one who was going to the restroom, fainting directly on the toilet. Waking up later, he thought that he was knocked unconscious by the smell of his own feces. The only one who escaped by fluke was Peng Zijin, who was rescued by Mi Li. After listening to Mi Li, he changed his residence that very night. Seeing such a “spectacle” the next day, although he was a little unclear about what happened, it did not prevent him from raising his admiration of Mi Li to a higher level.

Mi Li mixed into the crowd, running out of the manor briskly. She secretly gave her weasel brothers a thumbs-up. She didn’t know how many troops were dispatched this time, being able to unleash such huge lethality. In order to thank them for their support, Mi Li decided to give them another dozen jin of eggs.

After encountering a stinky fart attack, most of the people who participated in the dinner that day were corpses. They couldn’t be revived without another three to five days, and they naturally gave Mi Zheng a black mark in their hearts.

As for Mi Zheng’s Xiangfu Mingju, it had been turned completely into a stinky residence. Guests checked out one after another, and many people demanded compensation, causing them to suffer heavy losses.

Mi Zheng had to shut down temporarily and hire someone to disinfect the place. For a long time to come, he wouldn’t have the energy to provoke Papa Mi and his family.

Mi Li: There are no enemies that can’t be settled by a wave of stinky farts. If it doesn’t work, then let loose another wave.

Papa Mi took the opportunity to find the village chief to finalize the contract for the barren mountain, prepared to develop his new business.

Mi Li handed the flame date saplings to Papa Mi, falsely claiming that they were a new variety developed by a friend. If he was interested, he should plant them.

Papa Mi didn’t care at first, and casually agreed to let an expert come over and study them. Unexpectedly, these few flame date saplings brought him an unexpected surprise shortly afterwards.

  1. A reference to the Calabash Brothers. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calabash_Brothers
  2. The name literally means “famous mansion.”
  3. White moonlight means a lost love, either through death or “the one that got away.” There’s a saying that cinnabar moles indicate a life of riches and honor without need to worry about food or clothing.
  4. https://www.whatsonweibo.com/the-essential-balm-how-to-use-tiger-balm-qing-liang-you/

<Previous Chapter<Table of Contents>Next Chapter>

3 thoughts on “EDS Chapter 37”

Leave a comment